Pop quiz: What has the self-proclaimed 'most influential hip-hop DJ in Europe' got to do with hip-hop in 2010? The answer - just in case you didn't see it coming - is fuck-all.
It wasn't always this way. In happier times, before average speed cameras, microchipped dustbins and robots answering phone calls, Tim Westwood truly was at the top of his game. His twice-weekly rap show on Capital Radio has gone down in broadcasting history as one of the best-produced and most influential radio shows of all time. In the late 80s and early 90s, his reputation as a dedicated evangelist for the genre was unchallenged. He previewed landmark releases months before other DJs got them, he brought the very biggest names in US hip-hop to do shows in London, he frequently travelled to New York to co-present shows with the likes of Marley Marl and Funkmaster Flex. His legendary appearances at Notting Hill Carnival drew crowds in their tens of thousands. He even endured beatings, stabbings and that famous shooting for braving the often dangerous world of ghetto clubland to give his parties the edge.
Back to present day, and to say it's a different scenario is a monumental understatement. Now 52, and having famously shunned marriage or long-term relationships in favour of his career, Westwood has become a desperate and tragic figure. Clearly terrified of losing his BBC job and fading into an unhappy retirement of obscurity, he has done everything to make himself into a high-profile mainstream figure. The first step towards this has been the continuous watering-down of music on his flagship Radio 1 show, partly in line with the station's efforts to attract new generations of ever-younger listeners, but partly - seemingly - through personal choice. In 1995 you'd have heard him playing the likes of Mobb Deep, Wu Tang Clan and The Lost Boyz. The fact that he now gives airtime to the likes of Soulja Boy, Chipmunk and Tinchy Strider speaks volumes.
It's one thing to handle jibes by becoming self-effacing and taking the piss out of yourself before others get the chance, but Westwood has elevated it to an art form. The exaggerated postures, the whole utterly tedious 'Big Dog' image, and the increasing reliance on screaming into the mic with smashing glass and screeching tyre effects have made this once legendary figure into a performing fool - a ridiculous parody of himself that any true fan of hip-hop is now far too embarrassed to be associated with.
Where he once appealed to largely black audiences, Westwood's target market now is white, 17-year-old chavs whose idea of hip-hop goes no further than 50 Cent or Eminem, and who wouldn't know KRS One or Big Daddy Kane if they sprayed their multi-patterned hoodie tops with gasoline and flicked a lighted spliff at them. It's no accident that the only overseas gigs Westwood ever plays are in Zante, Kavos, Malia and all the other Asbo havens. Evidently not content with just acting like a teenage wigger, meanwhile, he's now trying to look like one. What the fuck's with this new slicked-down fringe?
While Westwood's move to the drivetime show on 1Xtra may have been a big coup for him personally, it has become the final nail in his coffin in terms of retaining even a shred of integrity. His guests in recent weeks have included Jedward, Justin Lee Collins and Alan Carr. He frequently uses his Twitter account to joke about how much he farts in the DJ booth at gigs causing other staff to leave. He guests on other Radio 1 presenters' shows as frequently as possible talking about anything and everything other than hip-hop. A recent appearance on Chris Moyles' breakfast show found him on the toilet in Moyles' house, claiming to have just taken a shit, to be naked apart from his socks, and joking about 'cling-ons.' Bet the ladies loved that one.
The most recent damning instalment, meanwhile, isn't even funny. While the rest of the hip-hop community was expressing grief over the passing of Guru, along with disgust at the outrageous lies being spread by Solar, Westwood didn't give the affair one single mention on his Twitter. Instead, he spent the week talking about how he had been clearing rubbish from the banks of the Thames, feeding pigs on a farm, and dressing up in charity clothes with Alexandra Burke. He gave one reference to Guru's death prior to Miss Info's news bulletin, caring so little about it as to refer to Solar as 'Solo'. This from someone who has claimed that Guru was a close personal friend.
Far from a simple self-parody, Westwood has gone so far down the path of retaining fame and celebrity at any cost, that he has clearly stopped caring about the genre and culture that gave him his name. Real hip-hop fans now see him as nothing more than a national embarrassment and a sad, tragic sell-out that is long past his peak. The day he finally quits purporting to be a representative of hip-hop and goes on to doing Strictly Come Dancing and Celebrity Big Brother full-time is a day that cannot come to soon.
