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Sheep Shit - The Latest Droppings

By Ewen Ramsbottom | 25 August 2010
Fat Joe Lardbutt Fat Joe Lardbutt
What’s up, fuckoes? Read anything good in the news lately? No, I didn’t think so. Well, here’s the real, hot-off-the-press and warm-out-the-ass sheep shizzle, freshly scooped.

 

Apparently, the glandular gut meister Fat Joe’s selling his 4 mil’ property ‘coz he “still likes to party, and the party’s like 40 minutes away.” Here’s a thought, gee guzzler, why not try walking those couple o’ miles and gain your heart a few more years, uh?

In other news: Like Mike actor turned (c)rapper Shad Gregory Moss a.k.a. (‘Lil’) Bow Wow wants to be the new Will Smith.  Though the pair have both released some piss-poor music (sorry, Will, you should’ve stuck it out with Jeff), Mr. Wow is more a Flesh mince of a bellend, and has catching up to do, to better Smith’s early acting career. Let’s hope he’s taken Lil Wayne’s recent advice given during his eight-year stretch, on keeping out of trouble and staying out of jail.

Gangster living jailbird Shyne has been in the news stating that it’s: “wrong to rap about crime and violence.” The convicted-of-attempted-murder magnate, famed for his albums 'Godfather Buried Alive' and 'Gangland', went on to say that he loved Kanye West and Kid Cudi. It would seem that his time in the prison showers has washed away all his protective posturing and hetero layers. Shyne’s new album, 'Gangster Bumming', is set for release in the fall.

It’s been reported that Fugees slap ‘ead, Wyclef Jean has a score to settle in Haiti, and he’s not giving up his bid to become their pleb prez. The Gone ‘Til November star has told his Twitter troop that, though the country’s electoral commission has said he's not allowed to stand because he hasn’t lived there for the past five years, he is going to fight it. The former Fugee frontman has said that because he classes himself as a “roving Ambassador” he should be exempt from the five-year ruling. I wouldn’t bust the Ferrero Rocher’s out the fridge just yet, Mr. Ambassador.

Finally, the Puffinator of Diddyville, Sean Combs, claims he’s never robbed anything off of anyone. Tell that to Sting, Led Zep’, Labi Siffre, Diana Ross and Diddy David Hamilton, motherfucker!!

Peace out!

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