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Sheep Shizzle: fresh new droppings

By Ewen Ramsbottom | 02 February 2011

What's up, y'all? I trust the new year finds ye well, and you've made a worthwhile resolution. Something like: to seek out and find good music as those gaudy, obstreperous radio stations ill-provide sufficient and suitable audio fodder for anyone intelligent enough not to need to be spoon fed their music, dance around their handbags or be told something is good without having a valued opinion of their own. I know I did.

And so to the news: 

Apparently, Gucci Mane's had an ice-cream tattooed on his face. I hope that's not a mucky metaphor for him having his face decorated with man fat. Either way, I’m sure it's an improvement to Mr. Mane's marvellous mug. 

For those among you cynical enough to maintain that the Grammy Awards are nothing more than a back-patting, vacuous, self-aggrandising affair, rest assured that this year things are bound to be somewhat different, thanks to the news that Bush-backing, Mickey Mouse Club strumpet Britney Spears is tipped to host. 

Happy tissues at the ready as Rihanna is set to quash any 'sex sells'/ 'sex-object above talent' besmirchers with the release of her raunchy S&M video, inspiringly entitled, err, S&M. 

Good news came from a CSI insider who announced to the delight of real music fans that 'Justin Beiber will be killed off!' A coming-of-age, testosterone-exploding, masturbating catastrophe, no doubt. 

It seems Chris Brown isn’t happy his restraining order couldn't be lifted allowing him to attend the Grammies, following his stupid fuck RiRi ruck. A headline I imagined seeing on this would probably go something like: "Baiters bosh Bird Basher Brown attending Bash”. 

I thank you!

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