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Sheep Shizzle - a new load to dump

By Shaun Shearer | 07 September 2011

We begin with some sad and tragic news from the music world. It was announced yesterday that Pete Doherty has been found alive (but not so well) in his flat in London.

It has emerged that Dappy was ITV bosses' first choice as a judge on The X Factor, rather than cousin Tulisa. The plan backfired, however, when his screen test broke the glass of every camera in the building and curdled all the milk in the canteen fridge. 

Mark Ronson married his French actress wife at a ceremony in Aix-Le-Provence last week. Unfortunately, the assembled French guests couldn't understand a word of Ronson's post-wedding speech, despite all speaking perfect English. 

Michael Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, has become the latest name to be awarded a star on Hollywood's new Patsy Walk Of Shame. He joins Osama Bin Laden, Lee Harvey Oswald, Timothy McVeigh, Henri Paul and Jack The Ripper. 

T.I, Lil Wayne, Foxy Brown, Lil Kim and Capone have announced a US-wide penitentiary tour. The five will be visiting a variety of prisons throughout the States over the course of the next 25 years. 

The MOBO organisation has hit back at claims the event no longer truly reflects black music. This year's ceremony takes place in Cornwall, hosted by Billy Ray Cyrus and Dolly Parton. 

UK soul star Omar, known for the 1990 hit 'There's Nothing Like This' is currently celebrating his 21st year of maintaining a career based on one familiar song. 

Management at 1Xtra have announced the station has succeeded in appealing to the 14-year-old-council-estate-in-Hackney- Chav demographic as stipulated in the Radio Authority's Promise of Performance. It has yet to fulfil its obligation to cater for the rest of the nation, however.

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